Dan Pounder's Blog

Would you listen to a weekly podcast starring yours truly?

What would you want me to rant about?  Talk about?  Share with you?

Serious?  Funny?  Music?  Personal Life? Celebrity Gossip? Or all of the above??

I need some ideas, because I think I’m going to start one, so please leave a comment below on this post, or on facebook or twitter!  I would really appreciate any input!!

As you know, I was on 107.7 The End here in Seattle, for just under two years and would love to break back into the business, and I need to start the ground work again, and I think this is where I need to start!

Thanks Everyone!! 

Here I am back in the day at the End’s studios being dumb with the amazing Jordin Silver!

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I have to decide by March 22nd whether or not to give notice on my lease here in Auburn and move to Seattle… and it’s haunting my dreams each and every night.

I would be giving them a month notice, which is fine… however when I would be “moving” I will be on vacation, the ironic part about this is last year at this time I was in Vegas right as I was moving and that is where I am going this year, (don’t ya think)

The things I am worried about… Money, Roommate Situation, Job, and the overall BALLS to just FUCKING DO IT!

Money:  I am used to the south Puget Sound I’ve grown up here in Auburn my whole life and have pretty much lived here my whole life.  The cost of living is obviously way cheaper down here and it’s going to take some time to adjust to “living” in the “Big City”  :p

Roommate: I am worried that I might not have one in the time that I have to make the decision.  I keep going back and forth… Roommate or just do it on my own?  If I do it on my own, I would need to find a Closet of an apartment and make friends with the cockroaches that run across the floor, so I could “afford” to live there.  Which I don’t have a problem doing at all… I just need to find one.  This is where all my friends in Seattle come in… I NEED HELP FINDING AN APARTMENT!! 

Job: Obviously I will be commuting to Federal Way for awhile until I get on my feet and possibly find a job up there so I don’t have to commute everyday, which is what I am trying to avoid doing.  I want to be able to walk to work!  Or commute, keep my job and get a part time job at night at a bar or something to make enough to keep commuting?  Which I REALLY don’t want to do!

BALLS: I’ve been wanting to live in Seattle since I was in high school!  I’ve been a city kid at heart for as long as I can remember.  I think it started in 8th grade when I went on the New York/DC trip and I couldn’t get enough of walking around and seeing all the crazy people, skyscrapers all the awesome little shops/small businesses/restaurants on each and every block, something new almost every night, the fast pace society that lives there, I just LOVE it!

So why am I even contemplating this decision?  People just get up and move everyday, I know I need to do it, but time is running out and I feel way less prepared then I wanted to be, and I think that’s what I am freaking out about.  It’s happening… and I can’t stop it and I don’t WANT to stop it.

Someone is Coming…

MAY 2012

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ugh… I don’t even know where to start?

To recap the last blog about the fairytale ice skating date… yeah, haha… not going to work out!?  Don’t ask me why?  I thought it was going to work out, but I was way off?!  I don’t know what the dudes problem is, but he doesn’t communicate well… let’s just say that?  I’m at the point, if I should delete him from my life… for wasting my time thinking something might happen, and then just giving me the silent treatment?  I could be way over-reacting, but to me at least say you’re not interested before leading someone on like that.

Ugh… I’m done with this dating game bullshit… but why do we all continue to do it?  So we don’t become the old bitter people that have only pets and never leave their little apartment except for prescriptions and cat food for their 20 cats?

I need so much more motivation in my life right now, I’ve just got so lazy lately.  So bad!  Why can’t I just be addicted to eating good and working out?  I have to get in shape… I really think that will be the only thing that will make me happy.  Yet, why don’t I do it?  I totally could be making it happen and I decide to come home make dinner and plant my ass on the couch and watch TV?  I need a workout buddy, I can’t go to the gym by myself!  It’s like going to a bar by yourself… you can get a drink by yourself but then you go sit at a table and you start looking around at everyone having fun and you’re alone at a table sipping the straw from your drink thinking, what the hell am I doing here?  Then you never go back on your own.  (does that analogy make sense)  hahaha

Also, my friends are starting to put this idea in my head that this EXTREMELY attractive guy, (that I KNOW will never happen) might somewhat like me?  (Trust me, It’s not going to happen)  But it just gets me thinking about my confidence and self worth and how both LACK SO MUCH!  Then I talk to them about it and they say, “I’m a catch” and that “everyone loves you” and “You shouldn’t have such low confidence about yourself” but then I think, “they are my friends… they have to tell me that”  BUT THEN… I start to think, maybe they are really telling the truth and people do actually think I’m a pretty cool guy?  Ugh… I don’t know, the guy and I are “Friends?”  We are twitter pals and I see him out usually every weekend, he calls me every now and then but I know he has no interest in me at all, if anything he wants to be just friends, which is TOTALLY cool, but I can’t even tell if he wants to be friends?  I act like a bubbling nervous teenager every time I talk to him though.  We will see?

One last thing…

Why can’t I just have money?

Thank you.

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I shouldn’t be blogging right now because I have to many negative things happening to me right now.  I don’t feel good at all, so that’s probably why I’m more “depressed” right now.  But like I always say, I need to blog more and why should me having diarrhea change that?  :p

So I think I got the answer I was looking for about the guy in my last blog posts.  I do feel better knowing a little bit, but at the same time I don’t know for sure, because it wasn’t directly told to me.  I just know deep down that’s it’s just not going to work out, and that’s totally fine!  I was just hoping that it might have this time.

I think my body is pissed off at me for this past weekend.  Pride was a lot of fun, (thanks Aaron, Matt and Jason!!!) but now my body is saying… “You went on a Vodka rampage for three nights” and now I think it’s flushing me out literally!  I haven’t had a stomach ache/Diarrhea like this in a long time!  I’m starting to feel a little better, but I’m still just blah and exhausted!

It’s time to focus on me again, I love how I keep saying this, but it never happens… maybe someday I will see the light and finally fucking just do it!

My cousin made me watch “The Big Gay Musical” the other night… and I’m so glad he suggested it!  I freaking loved it!  (Surprise, I know) but seriously!  It depicts the “gay” community spot on and so simply!  I really enjoyed it, funny, sad and just so true!

I know this blog is kind of all over the place, but deal with it okay…

Since I’m all sorts of depressed not feeling good and loving life right now…   Here’s a great “Uplifting” song!!  It’s been on repeat the whole time writing this blog, but it describes my situation right now!

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…and I feel a little better now.  We both know where we stand as of right now, and I think it’s a great place to be.

I need to learn not to move so fast with my feelings and just let things happen, and if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.  It’s just so hard for me to do that, but it’s something that I need to work on in this crazy thing I call life.

I need to get motivated to start working on me.  To make me happy about myself.  I need to start dancing again.  I have to make this happen, with new everything and just start fresh, like I did when I was four years old and knew nothing of what was going to happen.

Also, I need to find a better paying job, and start managing my money better.  It sucks living paycheck to paycheck.

I love how I have all these excuses that I vent, and never do anything about them.  I laugh every time, because I know I need to actually DO something about it, but it never happens.  hahaha… I love it!

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love & be loved in return”

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…but it’s fine.  I think I got the hint, even if you didn’t send one.  I understand, without you even telling me.  I am okay with just being friends.  Even if I don’t ever talk to you again, I am okay with that.

Driving home, I realized I just fell completely head over heels for a complete stranger.  Who hadn’t even thought about that stage of the “relationship” we are developing.  Who has no interest in me like that, and just probably wanted another friend to talk to.  Why do I always go to the extreme and think that something is always there, when I know in my heart that there really isn’t anything there.

Just know, I will put these feelings on hold and lock them away deep down, and not bring them up again.  Friends is all we will be, and I am seriously okay with this.  So I hope that is okay too, but just know, that those feelings are down there, but wont resurface unless you would like them too.

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